AJC.com-The Diary of a Madman

[ezlee2]

Welcome to Atlanta Trader Rob!

The Atlanta Falcons announced the hiring of GM ezlee2 this morning. The GM known as "Trader Rob" takes over a roster devoid of talent and in need of attention. The new GM has been given full reign to mold the team as he sees fit. This is ezlee's second stint in the APFL as he was the GM for the Houston Texans and compiled a roster full of stars after inheriting a tough situation.

When asked what he expected to do Trader Rob was not shy in telling reporters that they would be going in a different direction at HC. He also indicated that he has placed the entire team on the block. "We need a total rebuild. Everyone and anyone can be had in the right deal."

Time will tell if TR can work the same magic he did with the Texans, but the expectations are high in the ATL with the arrival of their new GM.

[ezlee2]

Say My Name!



New Falcons GM puts the APFL on Notice!

New Falcons GM wants to make sure that folks know who they're dealing with after receiving what he called "questionable offers" from GMs that might not know who they're dealing with. "I'm motherf%$*king Trader Rob! I'm not some slouch off the street," the brass GM told reporters during his afternoon presser. When asked about specifics TR would not go into details. 'That's not the point of this at all. I just want them to know my name and who they're dealing with."

[Ushikawa]

If you say so...lotta bark but no bite marks on those hands.

[ezlee2]

If you say so...lotta bark but no bite marks on those hands.

Says the guy that inspired me to make the post...

[ezlee2]

Falcons add QBs to their roster, finally!

After going weeks without a signal caller on their roster the Atlanta Falcons added two after coming to agreement on terms with Brandon Doughty and Paxton Lynch. Both QBs come to the Falcons with limited experience under their belt, but Doughty has more starts under his belt than Lynch. The two journeyman QBs will battle for the chance to become the team's starter in 2031.

GM Trader Rob said that he was happy to finally have a couple of capable arms on the team. "When I first got here I knew that we needed to make a change at QB if we had any chance of being competitive. Both Brandon and Paxton have the capability of leading this team. I feel much better than I did a few days ago."

There is talk that the team will make a move for another QB via trade or through the draft. "We continue to explore options on all fronts. I'm always looking for ways to improve our team. I'm not done yet," the new GM told reporters.

[ezlee2]

Trader Rob lands former Defensive Player of the Year in stunning trade with Houston

In a move that seemed to come out of nowhere the Atlanta Falcons continued to add to their defense. The team traded for former Houston Texan Tyler "The Maniac" Matakevich as the 2028 Defensive Player of the Year reunites with the GM that drafted him eight years ago.

Trader Rob told reporters that he was elated to land one of the cornerstones of the Texans team that he built into a perennial contender. "Tyler is a special player and we expect him to be a major contributor this year. Obviously, I put a premium on the defensive side of the ball as he will join free agent DE Joey Bosa this year. Tyler and Joey will bring a level of excellence to this organization and should make an immediate impact."

One player that will surely benefit from the addition of Matakevich is veteran LB Nick Vigil. "Tyler is going to really help us this year. When you throw in Joey Bosa and DT Vernon Villagomez who we took in the first round of the draft this year we have the makings of something special. I'm not going to make any crazy predictions, but I think we will be a team that folks don't want to mess with."

The Falcons also added TE Santiago Fulton who will serve as the team's #2 TE behind Albert Kaplan.

Time will tell if Trader Rob is done adding, but this team already is radically different than the one that took the field in 2030.